Sleeve Notes

I was sorting through some old files on my computer the other day and came across some old assignments. In one of my introductory English classes we were given the opportunity to write our own sleeve notes; that is, to briefly write about some of the music that was influential in our own lives. While my musical tastes have continued to change over time, I still stand by the statements I made about these albums and wanted to share.

Professor:
In my experience, music is another language. Every song has a memory, each lyric a new lesson to be learned. While it may seem odd to a non-believer, I've found that God speaks to me most not through my Bible or devotional books, but rather through music. "Music is God's reminder that there's something besides us in this universe" (August Rush). Each of these albums has had a distinct impact on my spiritual journey and because of this I've written about them in different ways. These are my Sleeve Notes.

U2: The Joshua Tree
On the brink of stadium tours, Bono and the Edge in the desert
From isolation to standing room only
Spiritual angst and freedom from constrictions.
It is these songs that inspire the urge to look past
Simple acceptance, to search for answers. To be willing to wait.

Switchfoot: The Beautiful Letdown
Mainstream success at last for the band that refuses to be pigeon holed. The let down of knowing you don't belong here and the inherent freedom in that statement. Being 24 for life, but knowing its not your life to begin with. The dare to be more, the courage it takes to care. To live and move and breathe in Your presence, for that to be enough. Knowing that this is not everything, there is more and we were meant to live for it, called to a higher purpose.

Hillsong United: All of the Above
The idea of worship as social justice
Not a new one, we are the solution,
We will be Your hands and feet
To the least of these.
Desperate for all You are and all that you have in store for me.
Throwing our lives down in awe at the foot of Your cross.
The ultimate contradiction of beauty in pain?
Freedom.
The freedom to dance, to not care about the legalistic ones who would condemn us for living out your grace.

Relient K: MmHmm
"The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."
Amen. If not, we're all screwed.

Why I'm not in South Korea...

I was listening to an Erwin McManus podcast today and was reminded again of why I'm in London, Ontario rather than in South Korea. The podcast was the first in the 'Broken' series from the Mosaic church, and the idea that stuck with me was that "great failures are not overcome by great successes but rather by great faithfulness." My entire journey towards doing my Master's in Library and Information Science at the University of Western Ontario has been completely God's doing; it wasn't in my plans and yet I found myself drawn here. Back in March I started to panic about spending another year in school (and all of the financial stuff that goes along with it) and decided to head to South Korea for a year in order to save up for grad school and get the chance to see a bit of the world. My dream to head to Western was still there, I just figured I'd put it off for a year. Of course God had other plans and not only was I accepted to Western, they wouldn't defer my acceptance... o_0. All along I'd been saying that the only way I wasn't going to South Korea was if Western wouldn't defer my acceptance, and go figure, God called my bluff. I had peace about moving to Ontario, and while South Korea is still in the works, it's actually works better to wait until I'm completely finished of school to go.
With everything seemingly sorted out, I packed up everything I owned and headed for London at the end of June. I had applied for several jobs and figured it would only be a matter of days before I had a full time job for the summer. Fast forward a month and I was still unemployed and starting to get very antsy. Then I was offered a spot with a telemarketing firm and I jumped at the chance to prove myself capable of actually supporting myself. A week after starting the job, I quit. I'm not cut throat enough or driven by the inherent materialism that led my supervisors to make the claim that "our product will fill a gap in our customers' lives." The day I left work early, sick with a migraine, I called home to talk with my mom, sobbing because I felt like I had failed. I remember my mom reassuring me that they wouldn't let me end up homeless, and so I quit the job in hopes of getting something better. Fast forward another month and I was still jobless and again questioning why I didn't go to South Korea. Had I followed through on that plan I'd have a job and be very comfortable financially by that time. That takes me up until yesterday when I was offered a part time position working in a local restaurant.. it doesn't start for another week, but I've also received my student loan documents, and barring any crazy unforeseen circumstances, I should be okay. Which brings me, in a rather roundabout way, back to my original point. I could have run away to South Korea at so many points over the last two months, and that's exactly what it would have been... it would have been that 'great success' I was looking for, but it would not have taught me anything other than to run when things weren't going the way I wanted them too. Thankfully God has been much more patient with me than I have been with him. He's used so many people to show me in tangible ways that he's looking after me. One of the points Erwin made was that when you're the person paying for dinner, your table will always be full. It's when you're in need of a meal that you find out who the people are who are willing to stand with you. Whether it's my parents who've kept a roof over my head and groceries in the cupboard, or aunts and uncles who provide bus tickets, home cooked meals, and more importantly hugs; or new friends who are quick to help out by taking me shopping for groceries or buying a coffee at Starbucks. I have been blessed and if God has me here for a reason, like he's been showing me all along, then who am I to start running now?

Journey...

I've come to realize that my favorite stories, whether they are in the form of a book, movie, or even music, are those that deal with the idea of journey. That's why I loved The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Don Miller's Through Painted Deserts, C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia, and Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, among others. I found The Hobbit at a thrift store today for $0.50 and even though I've read it before (I was 12) I cannot wait to read it again, this time with the concept of journey at the fore.
More later!

Wandering...

I don't do well with wandering. That is I don't find it easy to just wander around by myself for no reason, I need a concrete purpose. Of course if I'm with someone else I find it easier to let them take the lead, even if we're going in circles, I can still relax knowing that someone else is directing me where to go. But by myself I feel lost; it's one thing to kill time, another completely to wander for no reason other than I can. I guess I should work on that.

Here and Back Again...

I doubt anyone still reads this anymore seeing as I haven't updated it in over a year... but regardless of that, I've felt the urge to get back into my writing and thought the blog was the best place to start up again. Whether or not this continues once I'm back in school in September another story entirely. :)
I moved to London, Ontario, at the beginning of July, in preparation to start my Master's in September at the University of Western Ontario. For anyone who has kept up with me over the last six months knows, this was something of a last minute trip. I had been planning on traveling to South Korea to teach English when I found out that I had been accepted into the Library and Information Science program. This wouldn't have affected my plans except for the tiny annoying fact that Western wouldn't defer my acceptance for the year, so in the span of a little less than two months I completely changed course and headed for Ontario.
The thought behind moving here in July rather than waiting for August was that I wanted a chance to get to know my way around the city and campus before classes started, otherwise I didn't know that I'd get to see anything other than the inside of classrooms and computer labs. This worked well with my job at the library ending mid-June, so I booked my ticket and started looking for a job.
Unfortunately, finding work wasn't been as easy as I anticipated, but I'm 99% sure that I have a job starting on the 20th as a telemarketer... Obviously, it's not the most glamorous job, but at this point, as long as it is legal/ethical and will pay my bills, then I'm ok with that. I honestly don't know that I'll be able to work any amount of hours and keep up with my grad program, so I think having this job will work out for everyone involved. And on the note of how ethical it is to be a telemarketer, the company I'm working for sells magazines like MacLean's and Chatelaine, and is owned by Rogers, so while we may be annoying, at least we're running credit card scams or anything.
Not sure what else to update at the moment.. I'm thinking about maybe spending some more time with my aunt and uncle who live about an hour from me. Because I don't start work for another week, I sense that I might go a little crazy between now and then. But we'll see what happens, things have had a way of changing at the last second since I arrived!
Cheers!

Leave.

From Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller.

I could not have known then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way... Everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons. I want to keep my sould fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently... Everything we were is no more, and what we will become, will become what was... I sometimes look into the endless heavens, the cosmos of which we can't find the edge, and ask God what it means. Did You really do all of this to dazzle us? Do You really keep it shifting, rolling round the pinions to stave off boredom? God forbid Your glory would be our distraction. And God forbid we would ignore Your glory.... We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it? It might be time for you to go. it might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word for you: Leave. Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.